memoir, The Blog of Missing

The blog of missing: Anywhere but here.

Over the last 8 months I’ve focused on just, you know, staying in the precise center of my boat. I get hit by the waves but I haven’t been thrown overboard. No thanks to any skill I have, frankly. I’m just trying to get there. Wherever there is. My there is anywhere but here. Here is… Read More The blog of missing: Anywhere but here.

Grace, memoir, Silence, The Blog of Missing

The Blog of Missing Day 118: An update

Someone asked me where Day 1 was of the Blog of Missing. I started with Day 20, which is kind of a let-down, right? Where’s the beginning? There should be a Day 1. A way to find the genesis of the heartache. And there should be words for every day of the missingness. We’ve got… Read More The Blog of Missing Day 118: An update

memoir, The Blog of Missing

Surface narrative

No news. 38 days now. I’ve gleaned a surface narrative from Jake’s phone records over the past year. From May 2015, when he apparently purchased his phone, till mid-September 2015, many of Jake’s voice calls and texts were to the number of his friend who died in September. There are four one-minute conversations to that number on… Read More Surface narrative

memoir, The Blog of Missing

28 days into a dark summer

I’m tired. So very. Jake must be tired–where’s he sleeping? Did he eat today? Now, every time I see a homeless person, I think, That’s some mother’s child. I had compassion before; this is different. Before, I speculated and sympathized. Now I know. How can I build something good from this? I’ve started something rough–if… Read More 28 days into a dark summer

A Day in the Life of a Writer, Grace, memoir, Writing

A Day in the Life of a Writer: Excavation via fresh hurts

Sometimes I only have a scent.  Ivory Soap. Pine sap. Old Spice. It’s faint, like an afterimage, as Atwood writes in The Handmaid’s Tale. Other times, I catch a memory when I noodle about something peripheral, like the weather of my childhood. And other times, I am knocked into a pit by something that happens,… Read More A Day in the Life of a Writer: Excavation via fresh hurts

Acceptance, Best Year Ever, Silence

Best year ever: weeks 3, 4, and 5

Silence has been my project lately, and the hardest time for me has been over the last few days.  My original post had this: Silence–Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation. I decided to do silence for week 3, and to focus on serenely shutting up.  Humility is its companion… Read More Best year ever: weeks 3, 4, and 5