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Silence has been my project lately, and the hardest time for me has been over the last few days. My original post had this:
- Silence–Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
I decided to do silence for week 3, and to focus on serenely shutting up. Humility is its companion because staying silent means I’m giving space to the words of others.
Sometimes being silent means not saying what YOU need to say, but allowing space for another to speak. It means it is not your turn. It means that when you do speak, you speak love and grace and nothing else.
Do you know how hard that is? Shutting up does not come easily to me.
Obviously, since I’ve been trying to do it for three weeks. Gah.
I am wearing an industrial-strength bracelet for this–it’s made of a rope material that, if unraveled, can be used as a survival tool. I love the symbolism in that. And I love that I’m learning to be a better person, even if the process makes me want to gnash my teeth.
In silence, of course. lol
The bracelet works. It’s reminded me every day that my goal is to pray for those who annoy the crap out of me, who hurt my feelings, who –well, you get it.
I’ve had a week of challenges, and it’s been, what, 4 days? All I can do every day is shout at the bracelet that I am trying to pray, dammit, but I don’t want to….
…and every evening I read an update on Facebook from a couple whose daughter’s been in a terrible accident, and they’re working with her to regain basic abilities, and they end each post with 5 things they’re thankful for. Last night the Mom’s flight got delayed, so she has to work with very little sleep, and Dad is rejoicing because through some [unmentioned] grace he’s able to be with his daughter. Each step of their journey is grueling, yet each parent finds time to get on Facebook and share where the family’s at. And I was complaining about what…?
Today I’m thankful because:
- It’s Monday. A new day. A new week. Today I get to chart the week ahead.
- I got a beautiful night’s sleep last night.
- Yesterday my good friend, Lawna, gave me geranium essential oil (the scent makes me ridiculously happy.)
- Lawna is also going to make a special essential oil blend (an aphrodisiac!) for my wedding to share as favors.
- My fiance is collecting Veggie Tales videos for me. Those stories and characters delight the little kid in me, and this in turn delights Tom. I think that’s sweet and wonderful.