Write Rite Right of Passage

I am embarking on a trip in a few days that will lead me to connect with my past in good ways, and I am in full panic mode. I’m half convinced I’m going to die, the same way I used to feel in the past when I went over bridges. I read years ago that it was likely rooted in my fear of change. My therapist told me that a lot of people fear heights because they’re afraid they’ll succumb to the urge to jump.

In this case I’m taking the leap.

So I’ve got 3586.6 miles ahead of me.
(I shouldn’t have added that up. It adds a whole new layer of dread.)
But there it is.
And I am going.

I’m going to see my mother’s sister for the first time since the 70’s. Mama is dead, but I hear her voice when I talk to my aunt.
I’m going to meet my very first born son and his parents–him for the second time, them for the first. I am very blessed to be welcomed and loved there.
And then I’m visiting my best friend from elementary school, whom I have not seen since 1976.
How does so much time slip by?

I’ll write about it as I go to keep my brain occupied with the beauty and adventure. I’m bringing my sewing machine and some fabric, which strikes me as hilarious but I’m telling you, it’s absolutely necessary.

I will be thinking of Jake, too. He traveled up in the area where I’ll be the winter before he disappeared, and I know I’ll look for him. I’ll have to.
I won’t find him.
I know.
But I’ll have his boots in my trunk.

My mantra: When you’re going through hell, keep going.
The moon is packed. http://onegirlriot.com/2017/07/pack-up-the-moon

 

One Commentto Write Rite Right of Passage

  1. Jeannie says:

    Hi Stacy,
    Just read this blog for the first time! Wish I had read it before your visit so I could have reassured you not to be afraid. We so enjoyed meeting you and finding out more about Ty’s roots. Josh was a delight and It was incredible ti see how mich he and Ty were alike.

    Just talked to Elena about planning Ty’s first birthday celebration since he got home on Labor Day and she said it was great fun watching Ty and Jish play off each other. She said Ty really enjoyed you both and was so glad you came. Bob and I as well and look forward to your next visit. Would be so nice to meet Tom as well.

    Wish you coukd be here for his Labor Day Bday party. Some of Elena’s family is coming from Grand Junction and it will be the first time we meet them as well. She and Ty are doing so well. Busy but happy in love and excited about his growing business. He is awesome! Bob and I both commented that we now know where Ty got his great mind after meeting you.

    Hope you are doing well. Guess you are getting ready for school to start again soon. Hope that you will have some great students who will benefit from the many things yiu have to teach them to make them brilliant teachers.

    Write or call sometime if you want. Call Ty and/or Elena as well if you want to as I am sure they would both enjoy hearing from you.

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